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Today, I Fell in the Shower


After reading such a clickbait title, I need to stress something: I was not harmed in the fall so don't worry. With that out of the way, I reiterate,  I fell in the shower today. As my falls normally go, they happen completely unexpectedly. I'll turn a certain way, pivot on my knee in just the right spot, or I stomp my foot down with a little too much force  when I'm walking and then suddenly, I'm on the floor.

Thankfully, I've learned to "princess fall" where I instinctually catch myself in a squat or lay out my hands in a coordinated manner. Despite my self-proclaimed grace, every time I always have a split second of panic. This time was a little different. I caught myself in a squat, but the hot water streaming down my shampooed head was unrelenting and frightening. The idea of trying to use every ounce of my will to stand myself up on the slippery tub floor was daunting. For about five minutes, I kept wondering, should I chance trying to stand or should I reach for my phone and call for help since I was home alone? Eventually, I decided to fight to stand and luckily I did without falling again.

While this time was a little more on the serious side, this circumstance happens all too often. Every day, I have this internal battle with myself over the smallest things that I have to do; things likes putting my socks on, taking laundry out of the dryer, getting out of bed to get a glass of water, running out and down the three steps of my porch to get my forgotten phone charger out of the car. In addition to being rescued out of the shower, it's these little things where I am unsure if I can do it myself or if I need help.

I don't say all this to complain, but I say this because I know it happens to everyone! Not in just my own way with my disability, but people trying to write a resume to get a new job, people trying to get out of abusive relationships, people struggling to get out of bed and do the dishes because of their depression or anxiety. They happen to all kinds of people and I'm not the only one. There's several billions upon billions of situations that many face, unsure if they can find the willpower to do it themselves or to ask for help. And here's the thing that often gets forgotten: it's OKAY to do either, or both!

There's strength in being able to overcome something yourself, and there's power in being able to ask for help. Being the wildly independent person that I am while slowly watching my abilities dwindling away has taught me that asking for help is an underrated superpower.  Sure, being able to push through some kind of adversity on your own is quite the feat and surely commendable. However, there's strength in understanding that you cannot do everything yourself.

I know because I actually physically have the energy to do other things that are more important when I ask someone to help me. For example, putting my socks on is probably one of my least favorite things to do in the morning. Every time I bend down or try to pull my legs up to put on my funky, pink flamingo socks, I struggle because I lack the strength in my legs and my arms to do all of the above without cramping up. And then when I cramp up, the soreness and fatigue that comes from just putting my socks on takes an effect on me for the rest of the day, or sometimes longer.  That's energy and strength that I could have to drive, to cook dinner, to volunteer at a local non-profit, you name it. But simply asking my boyfriend to put socks on my feet instead saves me that energy to do other more important things than trying to keep my feet warm or smell-free. So what I'm saying is…ask and you'd be surprised what priorities it takes off your plate. That, ladies and gents, is strength.

You know what else is strength? Being the parent of a special needs child and having the strength to ask for help getting them in the bed. You know what else is strength? Being in the midst of domestic violence and asking a friend to help you get away from your assaulter. You know what else is strength? Asking someone who has recovered from an addiction how they got clean when the idea of coming clean yourself is impossible. Whether it's a task as simple as putting on socks, asking for help to get out of the shower, or asking for support for an adversity you're struggling through, these are all acts of strength. If you're on the ledge of requesting help or not, just remember that we can't do it all, but we can do it all together.

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